Engagement Rings & Weddings
The Guy’s Guide to Buying a Natural Diamond Engagement Ring
By Brandon Borror-Chappell, June 12, 2025
How to find the right natural diamond engagement ring without losing your mind.
You’re in your usual spot on the couch. Your girlfriend is next to you, as she has been for a few years now, and The Office is playing—again. Auto-play has already rolled you into Season 5, and Jim bends down in the rain to propose to Pam.
Your girlfriend smiles and tears up, just like she always does. You’ve seen this scene a million times and always liked it. But this time, it hits differently. A warm lump rises in your chest, and your eyes start to brim—because a few days ago, you crossed a threshold. You know.
You felt yourself pitch forward into that first big drop on a roller coaster, and the lap bar is feeling secure: You’re going to propose. And then a storm cloud drifts into your sunny blue sky. A sheepish voice whines: Oh no. I have to buy a natural diamond engagement ring. I have no idea what I’m doing.
Good! That nervousness means you’re alive and feeling; you understand this is a big deal. You’re going to ask her if she agrees that you should be the most important person in each other’s life. Finding the natural diamond engagement ring is an opportunity to show her that when she says yes, she’s saying yes to someone who knows her. It’s a chance to show her you’re the right partner for the Big Adventure.
Meet the Experts
Greg Kwiat is the CEO of Kwiat and Fred Leighton, two legendary jewelry houses known for their natural diamond expertise and exceptional craftsmanship. He is a third-generation diamantaire who brings both deep industry knowledge and a personalized, client-focused approach to engagement ring shopping.
Stefano Canturi is an acclaimed Australian jeweler and designer renowned for his bold, architectural settings and modern heirloom creations. His work blends art and emotion, with each natural diamond engagement ring designed to celebrate individuality and love.
Frank Everett is the Vice Chairman of Jewelry at Sotheby’s and a leading expert in natural diamonds and estate jewelry. With decades of experience overseeing major auctions and private sales, he brings authoritative insight and connoisseurship to every facet of the diamond-buying process.
Asking the Experts: What I Learned About Natural Diamond Engagement Rings
I know it’s scary —I’ve been through this myself. When I wrote about my triumphant ring quest, I unhelpfully reported on my friendship with the brilliant Australian jeweler Stefano Canturi. I realize not everyone has such a gleaming, diamond-encrusted path when the time comes to make this once-in-a-lifetime purchase.
So now, I am here to help. I did what you should do: I asked around. I spoke with Greg Kwiat, CEO of Kwiat and Fred Leighton; Frank Everett, vice president and sales director for Sotheby’s jewelry department; Stefano Canturi, the designer of my wife’s ring; and My Friend Phil, a thoughtful and romantic guy who also successfully got engaged.
I present my expert-aided step-by-step guide to buying an engagement ring without losing your mind.
When I reached out to Phil, he replied, “I love that you’re doing this because I found the process to be a bit lonely. I asked a couple of friends, but people were cagey—maybe they used a family ring or didn’t feel comfortable weighing in. I think it’s such a big thing that people hesitate to influence you.” Fortunately, I’m okay with being influential. So, with Phil’s blessing, I present my expert-aided step-by-step guide to buying a natural diamond engagement ring without losing your mind.
Do Your Homework On Natural Diamond Engagement Rings
Gather some intel before you approach a jeweler. The more you know going into this process, the easier it’ll be. Stefano Canturi believes you might already know more than you think. He said, “A good partner will pick up on her style, personality, and subtle—or not-so-subtle—hints of what she likes in an engagement ring. Take note when she comments on other women’s rings and take the opportunity to ask a few questions about styles she likes.”
That’s excellent advice if you’ve got time, but if you’re reading this and can’t afford to wait for that kind of conversation to arise organically–or if you’d like to be more certain of your assessment–get a little help from those who know her best.
Greg Kwiat shared his opening line of questioning with me: “Do you know what she likes? What diamond shape does she like? What style of setting? Tell me everything you already know. If they say they don’t know anything, I remind them that there will be someone in her life who does. You might know who that is—her mother, sister, best friend.”
Frank Everett echoed this sentiment: “If she cares about diamond rings, chances are she’s expressed interest in a particular shape or cut of diamond or style of setting to her closest friends.”
If you’re like me, you’re surprised to hear this, and you’re probably skeptical that your girlfriend has been incepting her inner circle with her natural diamond engagement ring cut and setting preferences. Make a few calls, and you will likely end up in the grand company of “Other Guys Who Didn’t Know This Was A Thing”. Hopefully, if you’re asking her to marry you, you know who her closest confidantes are. If they’re in on the secret, you’ll have a co-conspirator on your side, and you’ll get to share the excitement of planning the perfect surprise.
A good partner will pick up on her style, personality, and subtle—or not-so-subtle—hints of what she likes in an engagement ring.
What to Look for in a Natural Diamond Engagement Ring
Not all center stones are created equal. Here’s a checklist of what to look for in a natural diamond engagement ring:
Cut and Shape: Cut is how well proportioned and polished the diamond is. This affects how well it sparkles. Its shape is almost unlimited in options, with round brilliant cuts being the most classic. Still, other shapes, such as oval, emerald, pear, and marquise, have their own appeal, and there is usually a preference for one of them.
Color: Specifically for ‘white’ diamonds, this is how white (or yellow/brown) the diamond appears. The scale goes from D (completely colorless) to Z (tinted with light yellow or brown). Most people won’t notice much color in diamonds above an H grading, and some prefer diamonds with warmer tones (especially set in yellow or rose gold) that are lower on the color scale.
Clarity: This measures how many inclusions are visible inside the diamond. Inclusions are natural marks that make up the fingerprint of a diamond. With a grade of SI2 or higher, inclusions are usually not visible to the naked eye.
Carat: The weight (or size) of the diamond. Bigger isn’t always better, but you want something proportional to her style, hand size, and your budget because this is one of the most important factors that affect price.
Setting: How the diamond is held in the ring. Solitaire (a single stone) is timeless, pavé (small diamonds on the band) adds sparkle, and a halo (diamonds surrounding the center stone) makes it look bigger. There are also unlimited options for something really unique.
Metal: Platinum is super durable and stays white. White gold looks similar and is a bit less heavy, but it needs occasional maintenance to keep it bright white. Yellow and rose gold give a warmer, vintage feel.
A safe bet combo? A natural diamond engagement ring that’s a round brilliant diamond, around H color (colorless), SI1 clarity (in case she definitely doesn’t want to see inclusions), set in a platinum solitaire. Timeless, elegant, and universally flattering. Also, this combo means the diamond alone is the star, so it’s a perfect proposal ring, and the two of you can reset the diamond in a more tailored setting together after the proposal.
When Selecting a Natural Diamond Engagement Ring, Sizing Matters
Let’s be real—if you don’t know the diameter of your fiancé-to-be’s ring finger to the nearest millimeter, should you really be promising yourself to her forever? Just kidding. But this part is essential.
According to Kwiat, “You want to try to get the size right. If you’re going to be wrong in one direction, err on the side of being too big. Generally speaking, resizing a ring to be smaller is slightly easier. But more importantly, the last thing you want is for her not to be able to get the ring on her finger when you present it. I have a pretty good track record of estimating ring size just from looking at a photograph.”
Canturi suggested a more forensic approach. He says, “If she wears a ring on the corresponding finger on the right hand, you could discreetly measure the inner diameter of that ring, and a good jeweler should be able to work out the rest.”
Everett, however, is a little more skeptical. “It’s almost impossible to guess a woman’s ring size.” He says, “And stealing a ring doesn’t work. I think the best thing to do is to get the ring in a size 6, which is the average size, and then you can size it up or down a bit after presenting it.”
Since the experts disagree, I’ve devised a foolproof method: Give her a hand massage and pay attention to how that ring finger feels when you squeeze it. Then, later, take a carrot, shave it down intermittently while squeezing it until it feels the same as her finger, and bring that carrot to your jeweler. Or channel your inner Joey Tribbiani and look out for her hand twin.
Or, of course, you can always hope that helpful tidbit made its way to her best friend or family member, who’s now your secret accomplice in this whole operation. Ask your jeweler if the band you’re getting is easily resizable—if it isn’t, you need to be sure you know her size.
Consider Your Budget When Picking Out Your Natural Diamond Engagement Ring
I’m sure you’ve heard the old rule of thumb that says you should spend three months’ salary on an engagement ring. That’s a fine place to start, but let’s be honest—your actual budget will depend on what makes sense for you, your financial situation, and what you feel comfortable spending. This is a once-in-a-lifetime purchase, and you want to feel good about what you’re getting.
Greg Kwiat says, “Your budget will guide many of your choices. The process of selecting a natural diamond engagement ring is very much about trade-offs. You know roughly what you want to spend. You have a certain size in mind you’d like to achieve—and a good jeweler can guide you through choices of cut, color, and clarity. You can go up and down in those scales to hit a price target you’re after.
Kwiat adds, “There are areas you can compromise on and areas you shouldn’t. Whenever I meet with people, I show them what it means to be at the top of that range, in the middle, at the bottom, above it, below it—because many people don’t know. They’ll give you an answer, but not because they know what that number will get them.”
My friend Phil doesn’t care that guac is extra. “You should figure out your budget and add 10%. Because that extra 10% will make a big difference, and when in your life are you going to look back and say, ‘Man, I wish I’d spent a little bit less on the engagement ring?’ And if you do think you might think that, then maybe marriage isn’t the right step forward.”
I chuckled when he said that because when I was buying, I had my number in mind… and then I saw what exactly 10% more would get me, and I sprang for it without blinking. You want to feel good about what you’re putting on her finger. So set a budget, understand what it will get you, and don’t be afraid to stretch just a little if it means getting something truly special.
Why Choose a Natural Diamond Engagement Ring
Canturi declares, “All natural, baby.” Kwiat adds, “We are 100% committed to natural diamonds. They have earth’s history, rarity, and they hold their value.”
Remember that when you purchase a natural diamond engagement ring, you purchase what will become a family heirloom. You’re buying a concrete symbol of your enduring romantic love—an observable declaration that your bond with another is of supreme, lasting value. And only natural diamonds hold that value.
Find a Jeweler You Trust When Looking for a Natural Diamond Engagement Ring
I was so relieved that I already knew where I was going to buy the ring. If I had to navigate the jewelry market from scratch, I would have started with a panic attack. I’m not a savvy shopper, I don’t drive a hard bargain, and I would’ve been afraid of getting taken advantage of. I’m sure I would have figured it out, but I definitely would have worried about coming across as an idiot.
Everett: “Don’t worry about coming across as an idiot. A good salesperson’s job is to put you at ease by answering your questions competently, without overloading you with information you don’t need. Always make a second visit and do some comparison shopping to make sure the price is in line with current market trends.”
Phil, on the other hand, had a rough start: “I totally choked during my first interaction with a jeweler. I’d recommend making multiple appointments on the same day in the jewelry or diamond district and just going door to door. That’s what I did to gather information. Get a feel for the people and their inventory. You’ll know who’s treating you honestly.”
Kwiat emphasized the importance of finding the right guide on your natural diamond engagement ring journey: “It’s really important to us to spend time with people. We give just as much attention to customers at any budget. Customer service and experience are a big part of what we do—how we try to differentiate ourselves.”
“The thing about knowledge is that there’s a lot to learn. But you don’t need to become an expert to buy a beautiful diamond. What you do need is to learn enough to understand how the process works and what choices you need to make,” Kwiat adds. “The best advice I can give you is to find someone you trust—someone who will give you the right advice and genuinely look out for your best interests. That’s core to what we do. We want people to walk out knowing they’ve bought something great, something they’re proud of, something their partner will love and cherish.”
Avoiding Common Mistakes When Buying a Natural Diamond Engagement Ring
I asked Greg if people ever come in with a defensive mindset like I might have if I were heading into an unfamiliar market and was wary of being an easy mark.
Kwiat: “Some people come into it with that mindset, and I find those people usually end up making bad decisions. Not because they were intentionally misled, but because they thought they knew enough to go it alone. And the person selling the diamond will always know more than you. You should look for a jeweler who takes the time to educate you and who presents you with options. You want to end up with multiple choices but no bad choices, in a spot where you can’t make a mistake; you can only hone in on personal taste. That’s when you know you’re in good hands.”
Final Thoughts
At some point, you will have to take a leap of faith. And so will she when you ask her to marry you. Sure, this process can feel daunting, but so does anything worth doing right. Creating something of real value takes time, attention, expertise, and care. The right jeweler will want to get it right just as much as you do. So, trust the process, your instincts, and the person across the counter when you find the right one. I found the right one! And she loves the natural diamond engagement ring I gave her.
